Recently I was in a circle of men and women. A man expressed his feeling of irritation and frustration about how we are dealing with the earth, his desire to connect with his inner woman (and women outside) and his need to hear some wisdom of women around that.
As some women started to share with him I felt my inner man getting nervous. He knows this feeling of irritation and the anger underneath very well. The answers were not sattisfying him because a lot was just advice or sollutions. And that was not what he needed. I could sense that the same thing was happening with that man in the circle.
In the meantime there was an interesting conversation going on inside of me between my inner man (IM) and my inner woman (IW).
IM: ‘I want to hear your wisdom’
IW: ‘Thank you for asking me, about what do you want to hear wisdom?’
IM: ‘Why I feel irritated and frustrated and why I still feel anger towards you.’
IW: feels her insecurity coming up, influenced by the energy of the group giving advice and sollutions. She is feeling something else is asked but is scared to show it.
IM: ‘Well? I don’t want to hear those women, I want to hear YOU. Please share something’
IW: feeling under pressure and feeling her old patterns and wounds of holding back coming alive, scared to be judged and to abandoned.
IM: ‘Ok, we recently made the agreement to do it and to show up together. So please, I am reaching out now and I ask for your help.’
IW: ‘Yes, you are right. Thank you for your courage. But what you are asking me I cannot put in words right now, it can only be felt.’
IM: ‘I am open for that’
IW: ‘Ok, I am here for you.’
In that exact same moment the feminine leader asked me the question if I wanted to share something to this man. A bit overwhelmed about my inner aliveness and my inner man gently pushing me to show up in this moment, I did what came through me.
I invited this man to sit before me in the circle and to just be in my presence and to look in my eyes.
I consecrated to the Divine and started connecting from my inner woman to his inner woman.
I looked at him through his left eye. It was dark, we were sitting next to the fire and I saw his right part was illuminated by the fire and his left part was in the shade. Also his left eye. So I was looking into the dark. I felt a lot of shadow coming through me.
The nature of the masculine that loves to analyze, wants to fix and wants to understand things by the mind. His shadow side of projecting his way of doing on the feminine and expecting from her to act the same. And in that way not seeing her in her true nature.
The nature of the feminine that is pure energy and the source of life. Just like the ocean; free, deep, wild, ever changing and powerful.
Feeling her pain of not being received in her infinite expression of love. Of not being trusted in her surrender to love and being moved by this force.
I could feel this man’s desire to be received in ALL that was alive in him right that moment.
His inner woman wanted to be met in the feminine way and not the masculine way.
To have a mirror of a woman to show him how to live it all and to inspire him how to do so.
To have a safe space to let his inner woman expressing herself in all her madness and love.
It didn’t happened in that moment because it was not the right setting. But I sure could feel the potential. And defintitly the desire to work with men around these topics.
Not to exclude them, not to judge them or to see them as little boys but rather to invite them in their own energetic mystical womb space. And to show them how they can surrender to Love and how they can trust Life that is flowing through them.
In that way they are connecting with their inner world instead of being frustrated to get it or to demand it from the outside world.
Because it’s the demanding of something that is not there that is hurting, confusing and frustrating.
Also as women we can learn more to meet our inner man (and so the outer men) in our feminine way instead of reacting out of conditioning from the old patriarchy. And start forgiving ourself for all of this.
This (inner) work makes my heart glowing.
This is how we birth the New Earth together, doing all our inner work, coming in balance in ourself first and then meeting each other as equal whole beings.
Sacred alchemy. Sacred union.
Together we are rising!
Evelien De Wit
Touch of Medicine
Art by @tinamariaelena