One of the most challenging things in my life is accepting the invitation to take the role as a leader.
On the one hand, it feels like something very natural because it is physically passed through in the bloodline of my ancestors.
And because I was born under a star constellation that includes leadership.
At the other hand, it is something I have been struggling and fighting with all my life.
As a child I remember that I NEVER wanted to follow the example of my parents who are self employed and have their own business. And then (with a firm push from my parents in the back) I started my own business ‘Inticura’ 10 years ago.
When I’ve put an end to Inticura earlier this year, it felt like a relief. Finally I was allowed to rest and I no longer had to carry that burden. The burden of being self employed.
This was of short duration because very soon a new project came through me and ‘Touch of Medicine’ was birthed.
And again I felt the inner battle.
The joy of something new that resonates more with my current energy and the old underlying energy of struggle and the burden of being self employed.
The struggle for survival. The struggle to perform. The fear of failing and having lack.
I now see clearly that over the past 37 years I’ve had mainly the mirror of the image of leadership based on ego. Leadership coming from the level of personality.
I also see clearly that I am now in a deeply transforming phase and that I am fully getting prepared for leadership based on service.
And that is a completely different universe. One of which I do not have many examples in my life and so it feels very vulnerable to step in too.
No parents who hold my hand and give their approval. No teachers where I follow their leadership training and give me their permission.
Believe me that the last one touches me the deepest. I see the value of my teachers and the amazing trajects that they offer.
A part of me would love to be part of it, to be included and to rest in the field of support that they create and offer.
Sometimes I swear to the sky why I don’t feel any calling for it and that for God’s sake this has not been granted.
It seems much easier and more pleasant to bring things into the world that are inspired by the same resonant field and with a whole team of support in the background.
But no, another part in me cuts through all these cords, burns it all and always brings me back to my own center.
My own unique authentic source of Being. Every time I hear the voice ‘here it is to do and to be’, ‘here you have your true guidance’.
A voice that has always been there, was on a low pitch and is becoming more and more audible and tangible.
My inner guidance, my connection with God, the Medicine or the Temple.
Listening and moving from this Source is from a level that goes beyond the personality.
For me it’s about serving something that is bigger than what the mind can think of.
It is about being an open channel to bring the energy of Heaven to Earth.
It is about something that gives more deeper inner fulfillment than what can be visible on earthly matter.
It’s about serving Truth.
And all of this requires courage. Courage to witness all the patterns of selfvictimization and codependancy which are holding me back of stepping into inner mastery, owning my power and to really go my own way.
For me there is simply no longer any possibility of compromising in my truth.
Even though I might lose people and places that I carry deep in my heart.
Even though I am brought back to myself every time again, it feels loney sometimes and it feels very vulnerable to bring my authenticity into the world.
And also these are just human beliefs that seem to be true in this 3D earthly existence. Beyond these thoughts there is a deep inner knowing that I am an extension of God who has something special to bring here.
That I am led, guided and supported by a whole team of Spirits, Masters and Angels. That everyone has their own unique mission here and that no comparison is needed. Because everything is guided from the true source of Being with its own specific soul purpose.
And so the cosmic fire continues to burn away what no longer serves me and step by step I grow and evolve further into inner mastery and into the true embodiment of leadership based on service.
It is my prayer and longing to evolve into a time where we can stand side by side with strong equal leaders and actually see and hear each other in the common Source that we serve. With honor and respect to everyone their unique individual guidance on this path.
Pillars that support the same roof of the Temple. Individual, authentic and in connection with each other and the Highest Good.
Evelien De Wit
Touch of Medicine