This morning I was led into the city and I stood between the three towers of Ghent.
I was born here and I can feel that this remains a place of power in my life.
I looked at the cathedral and my inner guidance asked me to go inside. There was a sign that no access was possible because a holy mass was about to start. I asked if I could come in and the answer was no.
A choir was warming up their voices and with my eyes closed I kept on standing in a meditative state.
By partially fasting – I’m doing a liver detox – I feel much lighter and surrendered more to my inner guidance.
I had to keep standing that way, deep connected within myself and sensing a lot of movement around me.
Suddenly I opened my eyes and the same man invited me to come in and to take a seat for the Mass.
I thanked him and walked towards the altar, a serene peace was felt in the immense cathedral and I was grateful that it was closed off for tourists.
I got flashbacks from the past. With school we had a mass every year in this cathedral.
I sat down and felt why I was led here and why I had to follow this Holy Mass (after 19 years or so).
I was taken back to the ceremony that I had in New Mexico on Eastern.
There my Native American Church family asked me in a friendly and curious way some questions who I was, how I grew up, whether I am a Christian and why I participate in their ceremonies.
I felt rather a feeling of shame when I told them that I grew up Catholic.
That on the one hand I enjoyed being in the church, for the ritual of mass, for the holy place, the hymns and because I often felt Jesus with me as a child. And on the other hand that I always missed something and felt that something was wrong.
That the Native American ceremonies are more about truth in my experience and that this is why I feel so much love for their ceremonies and I experience a feeling of coming home.
With this sharing I felt a lot of underlying inner condemnation to the Church as well as a shame and guilt that as a white woman I am benefiting from their ceremonies.
I also felt a pain of the loss of my own ancestral rituals and ceremonies.
The whole night I felt an inner fight and the medicine showed me how my mind was completely confused and showed me the fragmentation in myself.
The day after the ceremony I went out with a friend and felt called to enter the local Basilic of Santa Fe.
Outside there is a statue of a native woman in a Christian atmosphere. Remarkable.
We went inside and it touched me to see how a fountain in the middle of the church served as a waterblessing.
I felt resistance to touch the water and sat in a niche in front of the statue of Jesus and Maria.
The medicine was still tangible and I started crying.
She whispered to me that these are my roots and that it is important to claim this back and to reintegrate it.
Then I felt Jesus and Mary Magdalene talking to me and they said that I know who I am, that they were always with me and that in the meantime I know what is true and false.
That it has nothing to do with the outer form or appearance of the Church or the manipulated Bible.
But that it is about the authentic teachings of the Christ consciousness. And that this become more and more present again and that this is landing more and more into our physical body.
Tears rolled down my cheeks in the cathedral this morning.
What a process, and not just this life.
How much nonsense have I swallowed and believed?
And then the anger became tangible to all systems based on nonsense and manipulation.
There is still so much unconsciousness in the world. So many people who blindly follow and believe so-called higher authorities. So much sense of separation.
Yes, that madness and stagnated energy from my own past can now leave my liver. I no longer have to hold those old templates and carry them with me.
I attended the mass, close connected with my own center and respected their customs and read texts.
I know better now and I felt gratitude.
All I could do was embrace my inner child and acknowledge that it knew the truth all along.
I felt forgiveness and compassion for all those times I left my own inner kingdom.
And I felt lost soul parts integrating again.
The angels around me whispered that everything is just good as it has been and how it is now.
That it was good to end up in these systems in order to be able to experience the opposite.
That I am here to help bring Heaven to Earth and that the time is ready to bring the authentic teachings of the Christ consciousness back to the people.
And that it doesn’t matter what form it has.
When the mass was over I went to the statue of Maria and lit a candle.
I smiled at her and said “To Truth”.
And so it is.
Evelien De Wit
Touch of Medicine